As if losing the game wasn't enough, as if me being SO FUCKING TIRED from sleeping in front of D's room all night last night wasn't bad enough, I fell asleep IN THE GOD DAMNED FIELD tonight, and got an error. ME. An ERROR. I KNOW. The umps were drinking, or something, because...I don't do errors. Apparently, they didn't get a copy of the memo I wrote them after the ALCS last year in which I very patiently and with very small words explained to them that I was not to be charged with errors, and that they shouldn't be making calls against the Yankees in Yankee Stadium, or anywhere else for that matter. Honestly. Who do those people think they are?
Speaking of errors, I need to call Mr. Boras and get my contract with SpeedStick straightened out, because I finally caught my latest commercial on the way home, and HA HA HA, ASSHOLES. YEAH. Didn't think I'd catch that little 'E5' in the lights, did you? Thought I was blind? Thought I'd be too busy making sure the light hit my dimples just right? Thought I'd be comparing my colors for the next commercial, did you? Well, okay, fine, I was, the first like, sixty times I saw the commercial. That was until tonight, when it was on in the locker room and I turned around to see how
Fucking great. Some morons in the next room are yelling something about schadenfreude. I'm going to hve to go over there and slap someone soon.
I shouldn't drink tequila. It makes me angry.