Look, look, look! I finally have an icon. Wow. That's really one of my favorite pictures of me. I think my inner strength shows through, don't you? Funny story: I'd eaten a metric ton of chili that day, so I actually had pretty bad gas pains. Thank heavens for Tums, right? Am I right? Of course I'm right. I'm always right.
Anyway. We won. YUS! Due, I might add, in no small part to my three RBIs. Now, did the rest of the team appreciate that? Noooo. It was all 'Great Game, Moose' and 'That's the way to pitch, Mike' and 'I wish the rest of the staff remembered that the ball's supposed to go over the plate once in a while, Moose'. God. Like, HELLO? What do I have to do around here to get a little recognition?
Of course, the stupid Red Sox are winning their stupid game. That's the nice thing about this wireless deal we've got going in the dugout now- I can watch everyone else's games online While I'm waiting for my next at bat. It's great. Well, it's great when I'm not having to update every three seconds to see if someone busted up a certain dickwad's no-hitter. Oh, you better believe I was calling EVERYONE I HAVE EVER MET to tell them he was throwing a no-hitter. I even got the announcer to put it over the PA system at Yankee Stadium. That little dickbag doesn't need anything else to be cocky about.
Oh, wait. Gotta run. I'm up.