Y'all, I just don't know what's going on with this team. D. keeps walking into the locker room after games, sitting down and staring into his locker like there's a naked picture of M. in there. RJ stormed off into the equipment closet muttering something about catcher's masks, and now he's on the DL with a stiff groin. JP won't talk to me...I don't know what's going on. I keep trying to lighten up the mood by doing karaoke for the boys, but someone stole my 'You Can Sing Madonna' CD, and I can't do 'Like A Prayer' without it, which sucks, because I spent all night last Saturday working on this whole choreograped routine to it. I even went and bought the crosses and stuff so I could have the same backdrop as the video. For some reason, GS and BW aren't speaking to me now, either. I don't know what I did. Somebody's doing a lousy job as Captain. I'm just saying.
Also, who is this bitch in Baltimore and what is he doing with my Player of the Month award? I am America's Greatest Ballplayer! What gives? He plays in Baltimore, for Pete's sake. The only good thing they have there is the crabs. The crab DINNERS, you perverts. GOD.
I'm off to go find some new kid we just called up. I bet if Americas Greatest Ballplayer took him out to lunch, he'd be thrilled.