slappymcbluelip (slappymcbluelip) wrote,

::pokes diary::

Is this thing on?

GAWD, ladies, I have just been so busy the last few months, what with having to accept my ridiculously well-deserved MVP award and tussling with the great and painful decision about what to do with the World Cup of Baseball.

You guys, I'm only going to admit this to you. On the one hand, I really wanted to play for the Dominican, because we all know that they are going to kick so much ass and win everything in sight, and I just really really want to play for a winner once in my life. (OMG. I can't believe I finally said it.) On the other hand, D is playing for the US team, and I don't want him to go without me.

And then there's this whole thing where a certain someone's haircut gets more attention than the fact that I SAVED A KID FROM BECOMING A DAMN PANCAKE, and I can't have that. Y'all, this is my team. I can't have some interloping long-haired can't-speak-in-front-of-the-cameras-despite-wanting-to-be-on-TV-all-the-time slut trying to take over. And that's just his wife.

Gawd, what a WHORE. I hate people who do things just to get publicity. It's just so tacky.

I have to run, y'all. I'm giving pez to some inner-city kids tomorrow and I totally have to send out the press release because my GOD, I can't trust my agent to do things for me any more. The last time, I handed out cup-a-soup packets to a bunch of bums and nobody showed up. I was so embarrassed. For the hobos, I mean.
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