Do you think maybe if I offer to buy Mariwhatever a blowjob shot he would forget about that whole thing where I WAS TOTALLY MISUNDERSTOOD and totally did not even say anything about how the postseason was all his fault and totally not mine when everyone knows it's that bitch Posada's fault?
What? He's not staying with the Yankees. They wouldn't be that dumb.
I hired a new trainer today, dear diary. She's tall and she has broad shoulders and short curly hair and she smells like Driven. She really motivates me, diary. I don't know why. I just get a little bounce in my...step whenever she comes around.